USDA-NASA Rover Finds 4 Million Acres of Corn on Mars

Scientists were shocked today when the newest Mars Rover beamed back photos of what appears to be millions of acres of field corn. The Rover, a joint project between NASA and the USDA, has been exploring the planet looking for corn ever since corn prices started to approach profitable levels.

Greg Flenderson, USDA Chairman of the S.E.T.A. Program (Search for Extra Terrestrial Acres), was surprised, but nevertheless quite happy with the findings.

He said, “We know that Mars has a much poorer atmosphere, soil quality, and sunlight intensity than Earth, but judging by these grainy black and white images taken from several miles away, they look to be growing 190 bushel per acre corn up there.”

Corn futures were down 25 to 28 cents on the day.

China immediately struck a deal to import 8 million tons of the Martian corn production, but later that same day canceled the deal for no apparent reason. Martian trade ambassadors could not be reached for comment.

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